The following question came to our website, the letter has been reprinted with the sender's permission.

Dear Pastor Zagore,

I have been guilty of ruining a number of lives including my own. I don't have anyway to make up for it and my shame and pain are terrible. It has been with me for years and I don't know what to do about it. I have tried turning my life over to Jesus, but I find that in spite of His love I am not changed on the inside. Now I just feel like a hypocrite . . . Is forgiveness really possible for me?

Thank you for your time. I hope you are willing to help. Sincerely, <Name Omitted>

Dear . . . ,

The promise of God is very clear. There is forgiveness for you. But you have to understand what forgiveness means if you are really going to enjoy the "glorious freedom of the children of God" (Romans 8:21). So please keep reading the whole answer, because part of it may seem a little harsh, but it is part of understanding how Jesus said your freedom comes.

What you should understand first is what God means when He talks about forgiveness. It is not merely forgetting. The idea that we should forget what happened and get on with life is as dishonest as it is shortsighted. We should never be content with evil, especially when it has come by our own hand. You are correct when you acknowledge the pain you've inflicted on others and on yourself. You know that somehow you'd like to make it right, but you can't. This realization is an important part of understanding God's view of sin.

God does not tell us to overlook sin, nor does He do so. Instead, God sees sin in all its naked horror and finds it more terrible than you do. He sees it's impact with far greater clarity than any of us. So, He never tells us to forget it. Instead, He tells us that our sins hold us prisoner (Galatians 3:22). I believe that's what you've been experiencing. That's why you can't find peace.

Our hope is that God will set us free from our self made prison. This cannot happen simply by telling us to try harder to forgive or forget or make-up for the past. That approach has two problems. The first problem is that (as you have noticed about yourself), your best efforts fall short. This is the case with everyone except Jesus. The Bible tells us, "All have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God" (Romans 3:23) . The second problem is that even if you could fix what's wrong with you, you can't change the past. You have harmed people and changed your life and theirs for the worse. You cannot make up for the lost time or the damage you've done.

God realized the circumstances and consequences of sin and He took action about it. Since you were powerless to make things right, He sent His Son to do it in your place (Romans 3:2-4). First, He lived a perfect Human life. His Father accepted gave you credit for what He had done (Hebrews 4:15). In spite of your failure and weakness, the Father sees only the good "for Christ's sake."

What about the past that you can't fix? What you were unable to fix from the past, the Father has not overlooked - Jesus has paid for. As the Bible says, "In [Jesus] we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace" (Ephesians 1:7). We owe a debt to God for sinning against Him and His people. Jesus has paid that. We also owe a debt to others whom we have hurt. But since the same cross that forgives us forgives them, He has also paid them back for the debt we owe when He forgave their debt through His suffering, death and resurrection.

It is essential that you understand: God did not come to help you forget sin or to say that evil is alright. He came to settle a debt you could not pay. Jesus died for your sin. Your sins are condemned, the pain they've caused is acknowledged and taken seriously - but your debt has been paid in full because the blood of Christ is a higher price than you owe. As the Bible says, "For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect" (1 Peter 1:18-20).

God now wants you to receive the benefit of His Son's death and resurrection. This is the great promise of Jesus Himself, For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God" (John 3:17-21).